Q: Just what does the word 'rattarart' mean?
A: A better question would be: "What doesn't rattarart stand
for?" Order, soulfulness, might and your one-stop direct-deposit
headquarters. Mail us your paychecks, we'll do the rest.
Q: Did you know that if you're a touch-typist you only use two
fingers of the left hand to spell rattarart?
A: But can you touch your naval with your tongue?
Q: What's the minimum age requirement for attending a glass workshop
- can my child sign up?
A: There are some tricky questions that need to be answered thoughtfully:
Can the kid cough up ninety-five bucks? Is he/she tall enough to see the top
of the worktable? Are you comfortable with the notion of your child
working with tools and glass? Is the tyke generally good with her/his
hands, generally artistic, interested in creating? Will he run around
screaming and pull the ears off the cat? Answering #1 qualifies the
little angel, answering yes to #5 makes it a definite "no".
Q: I'm allergic to cats, and I know you have one - will I be sneezing
and hacking all day? And, can I bring my dog?
A: R.B. pretty much hides outside during the workshops. The studio
is kept clean and tidy so it hasn't been a problem for those so afflicted.
If you bring your dog I take a years worth of cat dander and stuff it
in your shoes.
Q: If I do a really cool piece of glass will it make it onto your
A: If it's really cool, no, because I copy your idea, sell it as mine
and make a mint off it. If your piece is nice or okay, baby - straight to
Q: If I sign up for the Glass Fusing Workshops, will I ever be able
to do glass as beautiful as yours?
A: Probably not...I mean, I'm pretty damn good. But that shouldn't stop
you from taking progressively more expensive workshops in order to be at
least the best you can be.
Q: Does glass ever break?
A: Mellow out. Teach your cat to chase Frisbees.
Q: I've heard the term frit used a lot in the glass world - what does
A: It actually F.R.I.T., an acronym for Freely Radicalized Invitro
Tuning. Glass, when highly polished can help elevate the fertility
levels in moles and other shrew-like mammals. Glass artists use the
term a lot because it makes them laugh.
Q: What kind of cookies do you provide in your workshops?
A: The team of master bakers here at the rattarart Kitchens scour
recipes across this planet, and spare no expense to bring you the finest
in delectable, piping hot fresh, mouth-watering, homemade baked taste
treats. These cookies know no rivals, and actually promote healthy
pituitary function and fresh breath. However, sometimes the Knucklehead
who runs this place secretly, maliciously substitutes Oreos, Fig Newtons
and Mothers products and hordes the good stuff in his lair. Every once
in awhile you'll get lucky and find some Pepperidge Farm cookies - but
there are no guarantees in life.
Q: Does anyone ever get cut working with glass in your workshops?
A: No, never.
Q: Oh come on, I find that hard to believe. Surely someone has had an
accident and been cut. Glass is sharp.
A: Glass doesn't cut people, people cut glass. On the advice of counsel
that's as far as we're prepared to go.
Q: Just how bald are you?
A: We never answer questions pertaining to national security.
Q: Your class sounds fun, but I'm not prepared to take it yet. But can I
still come out and see the studio?
A: Sure, just follow the directions on the
map page. See ya here!